Thursday, March 6, 2008

Mother of all posts

So, lots of stuff going on in my head lately, creating lots of ideas, making it very hard to find time to post. So here is what has been going on in my life. If you don't really care, feel free to skip to the pictures towards the end :).

I have never been very good about reading my scriptures, praying, etc. We had a speaker about a month ago that said he wouldn't read anything else until he read his scriptures. I decided to apply that to my life but include all forms of media (tv, internet, books, magazine's, etc.). It's been going great! I'm almost to Alma! I do read the ensign or the Teachings of Joseph Smith instead some days. So, then I started getting all these epiphanies (my new favorite word). I didn't get the connection until my good friend Emilysa actually mentioned, "Have you been reading your scriptures?" when I was explaining my latest epiphany. Here are the major ones, I'm sure you will read it, and say but I already knew that, well I am hard headed and needed to hear it about a million times before it finally sunk in (or start reading my scriptures to clear my mind).

E1: I have been a less than adequate house wife. Now, I am not saying mom, but house wife. It hit me when a week went by and Scott had not one minute (literally) to himself because he was working, going to school, taking care of the kids when he got home and then catching up on the housework that I hadn't gotten to. I felt so horrible after I realized that I have been so selfish the last five and a half years, taking so much time to do stuff for me instead of taking care of the house. Now both Scott and I know that I can't do everything by myself, but I can sure as heck make sure the dishes and laundry are done!

Unfortunately with this epiphany I have found myself swamped with stuff to accomplish and haven't had any time to blog. I am now trying to search for a balance between house work and my own stuff, the kids, etc. Anyone know the secret?

E2: My mom has always saved good Oprah shows that she thinks I would be interested in. Lately there has been quite a few so I started recording them and just watching the interesting ones. Well, I watched the one about, "The Secret," a couple weeks ago and was blown away. Oprah had three ladies on, one who wrote a book about healing your life, written about 30 years ago. Another lady talking about lists, and then the last talking about the secret.

The first lady talked about how you have to forgive yourself and others and learn to love yourself before you can begin to heal your life. She suggests waking up and looking in the mirror and telling yourself that you love you. She says eventually you will start to believe it.

List lady says that you have to get past the shallow self to the core self and figure out what you really want from life and then make a list or a bulletin board with pictures on it. Keep the list in a spot where you can see it every day, but don't dwell on it. Write it down and then let it go. My mom and I were talking about it and she says that the idea of lists have been around forever. She told me that when I was 3 years old she made a list and stuck it in her planner. It had five or six things on it including more time with Christi (me), and a better income. She found the list a year and a half later after marrying my dad, James, and realized that every single thing she had on the list she had gotten. The thing you have to remember about lists is that you can't grasp after the things you want, write it down and let it go.

The last lady talked about the secret to life and the Universe's law of attraction. Basically positive attracts positive. My mom has always told me (and I always thought it was a bit cooky) never to say I am broke, just temporarily out of cash, because the universe would hear me and make it true. Well, I totally believe it now. It basically all came down to, you have to be happy with where you are and you can get to where you want to be. And then it was so crazy how a lot of this follows the gospel (forgiveness, be happy, etc).

I know I will always been on meds for depression (my mom has tried using these theories as well as eating right and exercising to go off before, and it just doesn't work with our family), but I can make my life better still with these ideas. I admit I haven't been doing good with telling myself I love myself, but I am doing my best to be positive. And guess what, my life has been so good lately. I have been so happy, even when I've been sad (okay, so I know that doesn't really make sense). Ethan's birthday was on the 4th of this month, and while I was really sad I was okay being sad. I knew that I was allowed to be sad, so it didn't send me into a spiraling depression.

So, on to the pictures. Scott has decided that we have to get outside every weekend, so we have been going hiking. Here are some of the pictures from our romps.







I asked Nathan to get a toy for Caden, and this is what I found.




Boys and their boo-boos.


8 comments:

The Blaisdell Family said...

Sounds like we have been floating in the same boat Christine! Well actually differnt boats because you are further in this "process" than I am but at least we are on the same lake:) I have been thinking about you a lot lately because we seem to have some common things between us. I'll just call you so I'm not expressing all this to strangers on your blog too:)

On to the pictures...good for you getting out and hiking. Craig and I need to find more time for things like that too and I'm hoping with spring coming it will happen. Right now when he gets home it's already dark!!

Caden's little face cracks me up! I love the pouty look he's giving in these pictures. He's so cute. I can't wait to meet him!!

And time and time again Josh and Ryan have "helped" me get toys for the baby and the baby ends up overwhelmed with about 50 toys in her face. SO funny. You have such a cute family Christine!

Jamie Smith said...

Thanks for this post and all you wrote! I love everything you put. I like the idea of reading your scriptures before reading anything else. My brother-n-law gave a great devotional on reading your scriptures first thing in the morning, because that is when you mind is uncluttered with other things and if the gospel is the most important part of your life, it should be the first part of your day. My only problem is I can't get up in the morning, so I think I'll take your approach and read before reading other things.

I was just thinking last night, the only thing I miss about having TV is the Oprah show, she always had inspiring shows that made me want to be better and it was something great to watch while cooking dinner. So thanks for the update on some of her great shows.

And don't beat yourself up about not feeling like a good house wife, actually I don't why I'm giving you advice I feel the same way. I don't know how to get a perfect balance of things. I don't think we will ever find the perfect balance in life, because things are constantly changing, kids, jobs, school, etc. I think if you knew the answer to that question you would be translated.

Anyways, I'll stop jabbering, I have to hand wash like a million dishes because our dishwasher just broke!

Jamie Smith said...

Wow, I can't believe I actually just wrote as much or more then Jaime! That's a first! I should get a prize for that!

By the way, you look great in the pictures. Have you been losing more weight?

Anonymous said...

Christi I love you more than words can ever express. I understand the sad thing and the overwhelmed things I struggle with them too. When I think of you as sad it is so hard for me to imagine because I see this beautiful four year old standing on my steps with the most heartfelt loving smile on her face carrying a paper bag full of things to cheer me up when I was sad. You told me you heard I was sad and that you came to help me feel better. You even brought me your barbie doll to take care of me while you were at school. And as soon as you got home from kindergarten you would run over and check on me and we would watch a movie and have a snack. Don't worry about the housework enjoy your children. And so what if Scott helps around the house even with things that you could do. If he is the kind of guy that you deserve he enjoys helping you. And from everything your mom has told me about him I think he is that kind of guy. Don't beat yourself up. You get your sweetness from your mom. You get your hard headedness from me. :) Try drawing a smiley face on the mirror with bright red lipstick. Or writing I love you in bright red lipstick. Do some completely silly things. Don't always take everything to heart and so seriously. God meant for us to take a lot of things lightly. I love you and I want you to give yourself a great big hug from me. I get the depression. I have had to deal with it for a very long time now. I have had to learn little things to stay afloat.

As for your family-That picture of Caden and Scott needs to be in a contest. Blow that picture up and the one of you and Nathan it almost looks like he is poking you in the butt. Put those up in a place where you can see them and just laugh every time you look at them. Spend time with them and let the house get done when it gets done. Everything that your mom has told me about Scott makes me love him too.

KISSES I have to run to class before I am late.
Kim

The Shirleys said...

About time!! :) Thanks for letting us come crash at your house yesterday! I hope you were able to get the things done you needed to since we distracted you all morning.

Andy says thanks for the dessert!

Jami Black said...

I really enjoyed reading your post and I am feeling very similar. I too have worked harder to read the scriptures first and it has literally been changing my life!

I agree with Jamie-you look super skinny! Your boys are so adorable and I love the picture of Caden with all the toys!

SHILLIG4FAMILY said...

GREAT POST! MY ADVICE ABOUT THE "HOUSEWIFE" THING IS TO HAVE A "ROUTINE" I AM THE QUEEN OF MY HOUSE ALWAYS "LOOKING CLEAN" EVERY MORNING I GET UP AND DO DISHES, VACUUM, LAUNDRY, MAKE BEDS ETC. AND IT TAKES ME ABOUT AN HOUR FOR THAT. AND THEN THE REST OF THE DAY I JUST STAY ON TOP OF IT OR IT WILL GET OUT OF CONTROL. I MAKE AIMI LARK'S TOYS STAY IN HER ROOM THAT WAY MY HOUSE IS NOT A COMPLETE DISASTER. NOW MY BASEBOARDS AND CEILING FANS MAY BE DUSTY BUT WHEN JAKE COMES HOME THE HOUSE LOOKS GREAT! I HOPE THAT HELPS! YOU ARE SUCH A GREAT EXAMPLE. THANKS FOR SHARING!

Shillig 1 Family said...

Another great post. I agree with Caroline. The baseboards & such can wait, take 1 Sat. a month to do deep cleaning.

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